Coming out of the Fashion Week(s) circus for another season, the Cee Are Dee team takes time to reflect on how one should attempt to survive a Pitti Uomo.

Twice a year the fashion worlds best and brightest flock to Florence. They descend upon the Italian city in to attend the Pitti Uomo, arguably the worlds “most important International event for menswear and men accessories collections and for the launch of new men fashion projects”. At least they would argue that, I just copy-pasted it from Google.

Basically it is a trade show. Brands use Pitti to show off their latest collections. Buyers use it to place orders. And the rest of us use it to get street-styled to sort our Tinder profile pic for another 6 months. But it is not without its perils and pitfalls. So let’s run down a few things we had to learn the hard way.

Getting street-styled

Let’s face it. This is the main reason anyone goes to Pitti. Even if you have legitimate business there, you are mainly there to be street-styled. Now, there are a few ways to go about this.

• Be really fucking handsome
• Dress really fucking well
• Dress like a twat, a practice more commonly known as the “Pitti Peacock” … emphasis on cock.
• Walk next to someone who is really well dressed, or really fucking handsome and hope you are mildly in focus (my preference, cheers Danny boi).
• Walk next to someone who is dressed like a twat and hope you are really out of focus.

A few ways to really not go about this

• Ask. If you ask you will be relegated to the level of wannabe and shunned by anyone with a camera.
• Constantly walk back and forward at the entrance. This is just one step above asking in terms of desperation. But there are practicalities to keep in mind also. You are sleep deprived. Your blood type is vodka and you are wearing clothing that restricts both movement and breathing… you cannot sustain this level of calorie burn for long.
• Hang around the main pavilion smoking and looking aloof. This won’t work for a couple of reasons. First, there are people who are much better dressed, smoking better and being aloof better than you. Second, smoking is so 2000 late. And so is that phrase… smoking is later.
• Hang around the main pavilion pretending to be on your phone. This is also 2000 late and will probably still give you cancer. The only difference is you can’t sue anyone for it yet.

Getting in the door

Once you have run the gauntlet of street style photographers at the gate, you need to get in the show. This is no easy task.

Imagine an iPhone release. Now imagine all those people absolutely convinced that the poor girl behind the desk should know who they are, what they do and be following them on Instagram. And now imagine this being in Italy. It is chaos theory made literal. You have no choice but to bite your lip, stay hydrated and wait your turn… or do what everyone else does and take someone else’s turn. Results are the same.

Maybe you’re a professional, maybe your PA is

Right, I should put a caveat in here, some folks might be there for real business reasons… maybe. They might be all prepared and have the app and ticket on their phone. They can just breeze through… and you could too. But I would encourage you to experience the ticket desks at least once. It is a Pitti right of passage. A Pitti Passage.

In Pitti Part 2

You’ve had a lot to take in here so we’ll split this guide into a 2 parter. Up next we’re going to look at how you can conduct yourself with tact and decorum… i.e, don’t come off as a noobie. Alongside this, we will also give you a guide to surviving the night outside of the show because, if you don’t navigate this right Pitti turns to self-Pitti.