If you want to properly pop, you need to put your finger in the punt and in one fluid motion swing up through the annulus.
There are a few skills that one should master. Skills that will equip one for life. Lighting a campfire, wiring a plug, tying a Windsor. These are all things we are expected to know but it seems no one bothered to teach many of us. So, we are going to kick this off with an essential life skill. Opening a bottle of Champagne with a sword.
The art of sabrage, or using a sabre to open a bottle of Champagne goes back to the Napoleonic times. As Napoleon and his cohorts were rampaging over Europe they apparently got through a great deal of the stuff. Napoleon was once famously quoted to say:
“Champagne, in victory you deserve it, in defeat you need it.”
And well, let’s face it this pint-sized Frenchman saw his fair share of both so he should know a thing or two about it.
Multi-purpose
Anyway, at some point, he and his boys decided that if their sabres were good at chopping the heads off their enemies then they should be good for chopping the head off their champagne. And they were right!
Words of warning
Ah shit, right… due to the fact that everyone seems to be blaming everyone else for everything these days, I need to say this. Here at Cee Are Dee, we do not condone this age-old method of opening champagne. No matter how cool it is and how much it will impress all around you. I mean glass bottles are dangerous, alcohol is dangerous, swords are dangerous. Imagine the carnage that would ensue if all three were mixed together. So what follows if a purely theoretical explanation of the method from a point of view of historical interest. Right, got it. Good. Let’s move on.
Now, let’s really break this down.
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You need to start off with a good bottle of Champagne, none of this sparkling wine nonsense your mum drinks. For one thing, like all things in life, if you are going to do this, you should do it right. For the other thing, the bottles that are used for real champagne are sturdy enough to take it.
Keep cool. Keep calm
Turn the bottle upside down and put it in a bucket of ice for at least 10 mins. This is going to clam things down inside the bottle a bit and make sure you don’t pop your cork before you can pull out your sword. It happens guys, nothing to be ashamed of but let’s do what we can to avoid it.
When you have cooled things off, remove the foil completely, then carefully remove the cage. Keep your thumb over the cork, and just in case you do pop, make sure it is not pointed at anyone or anything expensive.
I am not making up these terms… honest!
Now, find the seam on the side that runs up towards the top of the bottle. The top of the bottle is known as the annulus and where this seems meets the annulus is the weakest part of the bottle. This is where you are going to aim.
Make sure the bottle is dry so it won’t slip out of your hand. Hold it in your non-dominant hand with your thumb in the dent at the bottom of the bottle. This dent is known as the punt. Angle it at roughly 30 degrees again facing away from anyone or anything expensive. The taking your sabre, place it halfway along the neck on the seam. In one fluid motion swing the sword forward towards the top of the bottle. Like a good punch, there should be some follow-through. Swing it like you mean it.
That’s it, all being well the top of the bottle should just pop off and be found 20 feet away.
Let a little of the Champagne spill out, this ensures that all glass shards are removed. Bring the bottle back up to vertical and inspect your handiwork. There should be a crisp clean break around the annulus. Pour the Champagne and take one last glace to make sure that no glass has snuck its way in. Now drink and bask in the accolades from all those about you!
A serious point about a serious point
Right, we are actually going to make one serious point, about something with a serious point. Alcohol and swords don’t mix. It’s a simple rule but a good one. Once the Champagne has been opened, put the sword away.
